Goodbye 2009 and for most performers it was not a good year but for me it was a good year. Lots of cartoon voices and other work outside of comedy to make me remember it aint all dick jokes.
Now this will be a year that i hope to add some more content from my old dvds. I am currently sitting on a ton of material i am bored with and will upload to force me to get rid of it. I am also in the planning stages of recording a new cd for june. Why a cd and not a dvd you ask? Well it is easier and cheaper to do it and that is it really. The dvds take me six months of planning and worrying about everything where a cd is fast and dirty which i like.
I will still film the taping night cause you never know it might work out that i could do a cheaper dvd and just sell it for only 10 bucks but i know me…if I get a plan in my head it will be a 8 hr extravaganza.
This will also be a year of less touring and more writing. So if you live on a coast I am sorry I dont think i will be in your hood in 2010. With the arrival of my third son it just makes life very difficult to tour and I aint getting any younger. I am 40 next january and father time is ticking away..there are only so many jokes about hypocrisy that you can make before it is the old “you kids get off my lawn” or please buy my tshirt so i have a retirement plan.
Also not to play the pity card too much with the kid thing but i was recently having a lot of health issues. I now have found out that i have arthritis. It aint going to get any better for my one hip. When the doctor told me i had to drink more milk I said
“milk what the fuck is that i am a touring comic ..can’t I just pour aspartame on it or something”
At least i know what is wrong now..after a ct scan, mri and then nose raped ..its a long story… see me live to hear it. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and eat better. In the 90’s I use to eat mcdonalds hamburgers so i wouldnt get scurvy cause of the vitamins from the pickles.
Look I dont want to be the one to say “stay off the drugs” and “stay in school” bullshit, but I aint no waling endorsement of taking care of myself either. Just because i am straight edged doesnt mean i dont have problems. I am so lazy that in the 90’s i had athletes foot for ten years just so i had something to do everyday
Speaking of the 90’s and thing i used to do….some of you might be glad to know that the documentary I appeared in last year for discovery is on all air canada flights so if you are flying check it out. I just found this out and am not really happy since I admit that I eat cum on that thing. They filmed me for four full shows…hours of material and what do they use… the old cum eating line I use to piss a crowd off at the end of the show. When shown in context it might be seen as funny ..out of context i am just a cum eater. Lets just say i wondered why so may pilots looked at me strange in halifax airport. Now I know
So what i am trying to say is lets hope that the next decade they can cure: cancer..arthritis…. athletes foot and cum eating before the asteriod smashes into us and makes the mayans scream told you so when it is too late.





Sat, Jan 2, 2010
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