Thu, Jan 1, 2009


Xmas Picture    
  For a long time I was in a duo where the other person did not realize we were a duo. I just hang out quite a bit and do shows with a great edgy comic. Mainly we would be hosting amateur night in downtown Toronto. We would go on stage and do a crack head version of whose one first. Or Jack would go on stage and say the stage was a mess and I would come on and vacuum the stage so it was clean for Jack to perform on. It was a quite a funtime. I had always had this idea for a great picture and Jack was a photographer as well so we took this twisted Xmas picture. We were going to use it for a Xxmas show but alas all things must come to an end. We never did the show but I still love the image.
El Guardo    
  In 1999 I lived in LA with a few comics and I bought a Mexican wrestling mask. Johnny Gardhouse also bought one and we picked up a friend at LAX in the masks. This was pre Sept 11. I then took the mask and used it on stage quite a bit for shorter sets. I would come on stage with the mask on and say that my head was so weird that the comedy club has asked me to wear it so people would laugh at my jokes only and not my head. Then I would get the whole audience to agree to not laugh at me. They always agreed so I would take off the mask and of course there would always be ne guy who would laugh at my head. So I put the mask back on and do the rest of the set with the mask on. It is hard to do comedy with your face covered but it was fun while it lasted. This pic is after a night in LA where I got hammered and put the mask on and passed out.
Fudge Boy    
  This was another character I developed called Fudge Boy. The superhero that fought for the insecurities of women everywhere. I would track down supermodels and force them to eat fudge and gain weight so women could feel better about themselves. On amateur nights we would have fudge boy come out and stand 30 minutes before the show started with a sign that said “coming soonfudge boy”. Fudge boy started as a gag where we got a tallbox and set it up on the street out front of the club. Jack  would play ringleader inviting people to see the extraordinary. People would have to climb on a chair and look down the top of the box. I sat in the bottom with just boxers, ring of fudge around my mouth and eating chocolate screaming “I’m full of FUDGE” Some people would freak out while others like the inventiveness. One lady would not leave she just kept saying how it was great what we were doing . Jack had to tell her to fuck off.We actually shot a day at the Exhibition one summer day and that is where this pic was from. I learned something that day. If you go somewhere with a costume on people stare and ask for your autograph or a picture. We filmed a short video that never went anywhere but it was a fun day of being stared at.
Styx Meet and Greet    
  Now I want to say off the top I am not a big fan of Styx. I have a friend who is a friend of Gowan who now sings for Styx. Over the years I have went to see them and did a few meet and greets. That is what these two pictures are from. The one is a group of guys who went with me including Tony Krolo. The other one is off me and the guitar player JY. Before the pic was taken I said to him “I loved you in the lion king” and then they took the picture. That is why I think he has a kinda dumb look on his face. He didn’t know what to say really. Maybe he didn’t get it or maybe he did and thought it was immature. I still laugh at the picture so maybe it was worth it after all.
Emo Philips    
  There are three comics that are responsible for me doing comedy, Woody Allen, Sam Kinison and Emo Philips. I had the chance of meeting Emo in Toronto in 97. It was a big deal for me since I had listen to his tapes when I was a kid and knew them off by heart. He is still one of the best joke writers in the world. One of the only comics who has multiple listings in the vanity fair’s list of the best jokes of all time.I worked with Emo in 2002 in London Ontario. I was headlining the club and on the Thursday Emo did a one night show. I was pretty excited and to this day it was a highlight. How often do you get to open for someone you looked up to. Backstage I was just about to go on and was chatting with the other comic talking shop. A comics name came up and I said “I don’t work with him anymore fuck him!”

Now Emo knew this comic and asked me why I said that. I said tat I do not work with comics who do not respect other comics. This comic is known to talk down to new guys or amateurs and make them feel like shit. So after I said that to Emo, they were saying my name in the intro and Emo says to me “Well go getttem Fuckface” and I laughed so hard while walking onstage it took me two minutes to contain myself.

I also had to drive him back to Toronto that night and we had quite the nice conversation and argument about Canadian geography. Emo said that Manitoba borders Alberta and I kept saying he is forgetting Saskatchewan. At a gas station while paying for the gas I got recognized and emo didn’t. Sad really… great comic and mascot whore in a convenience store and I get recognized.

Japan Tour and Gay


  In 2002, I went to visit a friend in Japan for a holiday and look into some work options. While I was there I always wanted to go to Tokyo and go to the park where they play western rock music. When we got there, it turned out to be the first ever gay pride parade. So the park was deserted of rock bands and had thousands of gay Japanese men. So of course what would I do but put on the Leather Chef outfit that I always have on me and take some pictures.While I was waving at the parade everyone was freaking out for a few reasons. One I was a foreigner in a crazy outfit and two I was yelling at them. I must have had my picture taken a thousand times by journalists and tv crews. It was getting pretty crazy. In the end I found a few rock bands to dance to.

The only phrase that I learned was watashiwa shewfu des which means “I am a housewife” Most people realized at that point I did not speak the language or I was a housewife with leather on. No need to learn “I don’t speak Japanese” in Japanese when you know “I am a housewife” Plus they laugh more.

While I was in Japan, I also went to a few bars with the outfit on and people laughed like crazy. That is where thebar shot is from. People either laughed uncontrollably or they asked me to leave very stone faced. You have to love the Japanese…no middle ground.

The pub Spice Girls was a “Massage Parlour” if you catch my drift. The Japanese love western culture and think as long it has English in it, it must be cool. At least they got one thing right…other then hand-jobs, what are the spice girls good for. Well except for Geri she is all about the unicef kids…so I guess she is good at underprivileged handjobs.

Comics that Whore    
  This picture was for an article for the national post. The angle is that standup comics are all throughout the tv world. We are able to get to the funny fast enough. The same guys are seen all the time. I am in the article for three lines but my naked ass is seen ion the picture. Do you now see what daddy will do for press. I would blow Alan Thicke if his show was still on. Not for a standup spot but for kirk cameron’s number.
Happy and Angry Darren    
  They say that LA takes all kind of people. Well there were two Darrens that day. One person once said that I am only happy when I am dancing to the stage to music but I disagree. I only have one other picture with a bigger shit eating grin. That pic is posted in the standup section.

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