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	<title>Darrenfrost.com &#124; The Official Website of Darren Frost</title>
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	<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog</link>
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		<title>hair today gone tomorrow</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/09/07/hair-today-gone-tomorrow/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/09/07/hair-today-gone-tomorrow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Sep 2010 06:07:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=757</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
nothing i love more then cheesy hair metal lines from the 80&#8217;s
over the years i have been sent pictures of me performing &#8230;or of me just looking goofy
so i wanted to post them here to share with the world an even more distorted version of me
the first and second picture is from trent carr from [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-764" title="sketch trent 2" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/sketch-trent-21.bmp" alt="sketch trent 2" /><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-765" title="sketch trent 1" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/sketch-trent-11.bmp" alt="sketch trent 1" /><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-766" title="sketch brantford" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/sketch-brantford3.jpg" alt="sketch brantford" width="301" height="400" /></p>
<p>nothing i love more then cheesy hair metal lines from the 80&#8217;s</p>
<p>over the years i have been sent pictures of me performing &#8230;or of me just looking goofy</p>
<p>so i wanted to post them here to share with the world an even more distorted version of me</p>
<p>the first and second picture is from trent carr from the rock band the headstones.</p>
<p>the final one is from a person in the crowd during one of my hometown brantford shows</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Fuck me and the horse I rode in on</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/09/07/fuck-me-and-the-horse-rode-in-on/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/09/07/fuck-me-and-the-horse-rode-in-on/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:14:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have to start by saying I am very sorry that i have not been able to keep up with the blog for the last few weeks/months.  Having the third child has really cut into blogging/website stuff.  The last four months i have been in dvd hell but i see the forest for the trees.
OCTOBER [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have to start by saying I am very sorry that i have not been able to keep up with the blog for the last few weeks/months.  Having the third child has really cut into blogging/website stuff.  The last four months i have been in dvd hell but i see the forest for the trees.</p>
<p>OCTOBER 1st Official Release Date: DEAD INSIDE</p>
<p>remember when i said that i was just going to put out a cd and that was quick and easy&#8230;god why dont I practice what I preach?</p>
<p>The new DVD will be almost three hrs long which is in line with my other two DVD&#8217;s. </p>
<p>Have I fallen farther down the rabbit hole&#8230;.you will have to buy it to find out for yourself.  What I can tell you is there are clips from my old act that any self respecting comic would have burned.</p>
<p>The xm show is going well and this week we will have jason rouse on the show.  Jay and I go way back and it should be fun shooting the shit for an hour or two about the good old days and dirty comedy.</p>
<p>On a sad note: Robert Schimmel passed away from a car crash.  For whatever reasons over the last few years when people talked about edgy comedy they always forgot to mention him which is very sad as he a great comic that deserved respect and hopefully he will garner more.  One of the reasons why youtube is great.  Go kill an hour and watch his clips..they are worth it.</p>
<p>Now most people will think i would hate him cause in the late 90&#8217;s I worked with him and he blew me off.  Even then  knew my act sucked.  I didnt really hold it against him once I grew into a better comic that respected the artform more.  Just for my dvd i had to watch hours of that footage and if i didnt have kids i would have put a gun in my mouth.  Even then i knew he was that good and maybe i needed to be blown off the way he did it to make a point.  In the past i have harboured a lot of ill will towards comics that have done that to me during that point but none of those comics were as good as Schimmel.  Makes me wonder maybe that was a lot of misplaced anger in the end. </p>
<p>Maybe it was.</p>
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		<title>Facebook Group and Howard Dover</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/06/15/facebook-group-and-howard-dover/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/06/15/facebook-group-and-howard-dover/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jun 2010 23:10:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=748</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[for those who listen to us every week we thank you
we started a facebook group to keep everyone posted on what is going on and to also upload bonus stuff for fans
this week we have part 3 of our interview with marc maron&#8230;this was not aired on the show and if you dont know who [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>for those who listen to us every week we thank you</p>
<p>we started a facebook group to keep everyone posted on what is going on and to also upload bonus stuff for fans</p>
<p>this week we have part 3 of our interview with marc maron&#8230;this was not aired on the show and if you dont know who marc is then go find out</p>
<p>facebook group</p>
<p><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/darren-frost/21958622820?ref=ts#!/group.php?gid=129639837065651&amp;ref=ts">http://www.facebook.com/pages/darren-frost/21958622820?ref=ts#!/group.php?gid=129639837065651&amp;ref=ts</a></p>
<p>this week we invited howard dover into the studio to chat with us about the medical marijuana movement.  Howard produces comedy shows to get the word out</p>
<p>we also talk about tranny porn and i admit somethings that my wife wont be cool with ..some come and listen in on chat that you wish took place at your family reunions</p>
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		<title>ALAN PARK PART ONE</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/06/02/alan-park-part-one/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/06/02/alan-park-part-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:16:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=739</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
We were lucky this week to have not only marc maron come by the studio but another great comic alan park.  For those who do not know who alan is you need to troll the internet and get some alan time under your belt.
Start here
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn2Df2MkynU
Next Week: Part Two of Marc Maron and some drunken ranty [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-740" title="alan park xm" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/alan-park-xm.jpg" alt="alan park xm" width="540" height="720" /></p>
<p>We were lucky this week to have not only marc maron come by the studio but another great comic alan park.  For those who do not know who alan is you need to troll the internet and get some alan time under your belt.</p>
<p>Start here</p>
<p> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn2Df2MkynU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn2Df2MkynU</a></p>
<p>Next Week: Part Two of Marc Maron and some drunken ranty stuff</p>
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		<title>DVD TAPING AND XM RADIO ANYTHING GOES</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/05/31/dvd-taping-and-xm-radio-anything-goes/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/05/31/dvd-taping-and-xm-radio-anything-goes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 31 May 2010 23:20:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=732</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
DEAD INSIDE
DVD TAPING: JUNE 5TH   TORONTO YUKS YUKS  224 RICHMOND ST 8 AND 10:30
For tickets call 416 967 6425
&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-
Now onto the other news of the week.  We are week three into my own radio show ANYTHING GOES  that is airing on XM Laugh Attack channel 153.  Lots of good interviews and quite a learning curve.  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-731" title="sunglasses" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/sunglasses2.jpg" alt="sunglasses" width="461" height="346" /></p>
<p>DEAD INSIDE</p>
<p>DVD TAPING: JUNE 5TH   TORONTO YUKS YUKS  224 RICHMOND ST 8 AND 10:30</p>
<p>For tickets call 416 967 6425</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-</p>
<p>Now onto the other news of the week.  We are week three into my own radio show ANYTHING GOES  that is airing on XM Laugh Attack channel 153.  Lots of good interviews and quite a learning curve.  Being a guest on a show is easy but being the host comes with a pressure i was not aware of.  I am pretty hard on my self but luckily I have a cohost that has done this for a long time.  Dave Martin who has toured with me for years is also on the show and has had a podcast for three years.  I make fun of Dave and Dave mocks me.  It is a match made in radio heaven or hell depending on your sensibilities.</p>
<p>I will be using this blog for the radio show as well for posting information of linking podcasts that i think that our listeners will like. </p>
<p>WEDNESDAY JUNE 2ND ANYTHING GOES WITH GUESTS MARC MARON AND ALAN PARK</p>
<p>The first one that I want to get anyone over to is WTF with Marc Maron.  See picture above.  Now unless you live on a rock or under one, I would hope everyone here knows who that is.  Marc has been a comic that I  have enjoyed for decades and he was in toronto doing some shows.  He was nice enough to come  by our little radio show for an hour chat.  So for the next three weeks there will be interview clips from that interview.</p>
<p>And another great comic comes to town and another bunch of young comics and older comics sit at home and think they have nothing to learn.  Sure there was the normal crew that comes out and supports comedy of this caliber, but it still shocks me that young comics dont know the history of comedy before Mr Show.</p>
<p>For more info on marc please go to his website and download all of his podcasts.  If you are a comic start with the one with Robin Williams and you will quickly realize how good comedy talk can be.  He makes it look that easy and asks the questions we all want the answers to</p>
<p><a href="http://www.marcmaron.com">www.marcmaron.com</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.wtfpod.com">www.wtfpod.com</a></p>
<p>Normally that would be enough of a show in itself but we also asked standup comic and writer Alan Park to come by the studio and shoot the shit.  Alan for years has been one of  canada&#8217;s best political comics and we ask him about the future of facebook..the oil spill and Obama.</p>
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		<title>You&#8217;re Going To Make It After All</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/22/youre-going-to-make-it-after-all/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/22/youre-going-to-make-it-after-all/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2010 01:20:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
here i am in a hotel room that smells like rotten eggs and this is the view from my window&#8230;the big time kids.  I can even jump to my death.
the only way i can kill myself is to jump out and fit my fat body into one of those shoots and hope it leads somewhere [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-724" title="view from the future" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/view-from-the-future.jpg" alt="view from the future" width="604" height="453" /></p>
<p>here i am in a hotel room that smells like rotten eggs and this is the view from my window&#8230;the big time kids.  I can even jump to my death.</p>
<div id="text_expose_id_4bd0f545c719534c082c2">the only way i can kill myself is to jump out and fit my fat body into one of those shoots and hope it leads somewhere dangerous</div>
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		<title>Calgary: Lights Camera Revolution</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/21/calgary-lights-camera-revolution/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/21/calgary-lights-camera-revolution/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Apr 2010 16:39:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=719</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
What a week it has been.
The first time I have been out west in a year and it will be the first time I play edmonton in four or five years.  I have been spending tons of time watching open mikes in calgary and doing sets getting ready for my new dvd recording.  It has [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-720" title="igor in hell" src="http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/igo-in-hell.jpg" alt="igor in hell" width="480" height="720" /></p>
<p>What a week it has been.</p>
<p>The first time I have been out west in a year and it will be the first time I play edmonton in four or five years.  I have been spending tons of time watching open mikes in calgary and doing sets getting ready for my new dvd recording.  It has not been easy as I have too much material on my last dvds and getting a new 45 together for the main dvd has been tough. </p>
<p>Sure lots has changed in my life but that has not lead to much in way of comedy material like it has in the past.  Maybe as you age your ability to keep pumping it out gets harder&#8230;or maybe you become too critical or self aware of what you want out there.  It is also hard to expect audiences to like some of the material i am throwing as well.  It is not happy at all and in fact it is pretty harsh even for comics to listen to&#8230;when your punch lines include necklaces made from clitoris&#8217;s of genitally mutilated ethiopian teens you can see my dilemna.</p>
<p>I did a photo shoot with a good friend and a great photographer out of calgary names Billy Cowen.  Some may know him as a standup..some may know him as the radio guy but like most who have lasted in this business: we know him as a jack of all trades guy.  Make sure you check out his website if you are looking at getting shots done in the calgaqry area.  He hooked me up with a great makeup artist and we shot in five locations, all in five hours.</p>
<p>billycowen.com</p>
<p>The above picture is for the packaging for the new dvd called Dead Inside.  I will be posting more when we get working on them.  I had to drive eight hours total yesterday to pull it off.   Three to the first location then two hours of driving from location to location then three hours back to Calgary</p>
<p>Some comics get upset and say that i dont deserve some of the things i get but they refuse to put the time in.  I have three days off in a row so i planned a photoshoot to use that time wisely.  Sure i could have just went and hung out in malls or got hammered and try to fuck waitstaff at open mike after open mike but i dont.  If you want to be successfull and even make a living at this full time then you have to put in the time and with three kids at home my time gets shorter and shorter.  SO the road is where i get most of my shit done. </p>
<p>Even young comics are still not willing to travel or go outside their comfort zone to get better.  In calgary I have spoken to young comics who will go on the road for a few days for free and do open spots to get better.  Years ago when I played edmonton very few comics came out to see the show but i noticed two came out more then once.  I remembered that and so when one of them was coming to toronto I helped her get some spots ..and then when she went to LA I hooked her up with some spots with a friend of mine.  Then when she came to toronto i told the office about her.  Now we are good friends but that all started with knowing that she worked hard and put the time in.  Now I am not telling you this so you can say</p>
<p>&#8220;oh look at darren helpng the young..he is so nice&#8221;</p>
<p>This is to show you that most comics operate this way..if they see you respecting the artform and putting the time in then they will help you.  Just killing on an open mike night is not enough sometimes.</p>
<p>In the past i have waited for others to do things for me but i no longer wait.  That is why I recently did my first show in winnipeg for the first time in the 18 years of spreading hate in shitty town after shitty town.  Due to politics I had been not welcome in that town.  Told different reasons over the years that winnipeg wont like my act blah blah blah..I am too much for winnipeg.  I was like, it is not vegas it is a drinking and fucking town.  Why would they not like a little anger ..just spend some time downtown and you will see people with something to be angry about.</p>
<p>I contacted a guy who runs an open mike and was told by other comics he is a good guy and cares about comedy.  So in a few email messages I booked my own show with him and was able to support a room that is trying to do something different.  I didnt do the show for the money and barely broke even after my expenses but not everything you do in this business has to be motivated by money.</p>
<p>Look around you and see how many people are still motivated to do anything outside of waiting for the phone to ring.  Comedy is a young mans game they say and even though i dont believe that to be true I still act like it is and try and run with the herd.  I may be off to the side of the herd but i am trying to keep up.</p>
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		<title>Workshop Info</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/15/workshop-info/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/04/15/workshop-info/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2010 09:23:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=716</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[for everyone who came to the workshop here is the points i covered&#8230;&#8230;I hope to add some more stuff to this later in the week

Doing sets outside of comedy clubs
Doing as many sets as you possible can
Listen to as much as you can
Watch the whole show
Be careful of structure…edgy then clean rarely works but the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>for everyone who came to the workshop here is the points i covered&#8230;&#8230;I hope to add some more stuff to this later in the week</p>
<ol>
<li>Doing sets outside of comedy clubs</li>
<li>Doing as many sets as you possible can</li>
<li>Listen to as much as you can</li>
<li>Watch the whole show</li>
<li>Be careful of structure…edgy then clean rarely works but the other way around does.  Comedy is layers</li>
<li>If you have material about someone or a certain group of people and they are in the audience you should not shy away from doing that material.  If you do…you should not be doing it period</li>
<li>Whatever you say be willing to say it to someone else’s face</li>
<li>Learn now you are never too good to learn from someone else even in comedy (Glen foster Calgary story)</li>
<li>Remember a lot of stuff you will be bothered by, in four months it will mean nothing to you.  Being jealous of others press.  Someone getting something and you did not etc.  This is not a race with anyone else but yourself</li>
<li> The same amount you bitch or wine you should be spending writing new jokes.</li>
<li> If you ask someone there opinion be willing to accept the truth.</li>
<li> The cleaner you are the better…believe me.  Being an edgy comic is not all it’s cracked up to be.  If you do want to be one be prepared for failure.  If you can deal with that then fine.</li>
<li> Remember this is show business&#8230;the word business is bigger then show</li>
<li> Topics to avoid: cancer/abortion/religion/pedophile</li>
<li> Energy is useless</li>
</ol>
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		<title>West Side To The East Side</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/03/11/west-side-to-the-east-side/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/03/11/west-side-to-the-east-side/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:31:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=709</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Standup
Ramping and getting ready for a tour that will take me out west for the first time in a while.  Lots of towns upcoming : Oakville, Hamilton, Mississauga, Niagara Falls, Calgary, Edmonton check the tour dates for more info
My next dvd taping will still scheduled for YukYuks Toronto in June.  It will be called Soul [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Standup</p>
<p>Ramping and getting ready for a tour that will take me out west for the first time in a while.  Lots of towns upcoming : Oakville, Hamilton, Mississauga, Niagara Falls, Calgary, Edmonton check the tour dates for more info</p>
<p>My next dvd taping will still scheduled for YukYuks Toronto in June.  It will be called Soul Destroyer and it will include all the material that has gotten me into trouble the last few years.  It has been two years since my last dvd recording and a lot has happened.</p>
<p>Cartoons:</p>
<p>Currently doing lots of cartoon work on the shows Bakugan Brawlers, Stoked and the new animation show called the Adventures of Chuck.  There is some talk that i might do a few more video games voices and if I do I will update you on it here.</p>
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		<title>World Full Of Cunts</title>
		<link>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/03/11/world-full-of-cunts/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/2010/03/11/world-full-of-cunts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:10:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>darrenfrost</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darrenfrost.com/blog/?p=704</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I know quite the cheery blog title but I think nothing sums up the last few months then that title.
First the positive:
A few weeks ago I did a great weekend in Kitchener Ontario (which for my money is the best club in the province) with Kenny Robinson and Kathleen Mcgee.  It was quite refreshing to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I know quite the cheery blog title but I think nothing sums up the last few months then that title.</p>
<p>First the positive:</p>
<p>A few weeks ago I did a great weekend in Kitchener Ontario (which for my money is the best club in the province) with Kenny Robinson and Kathleen Mcgee.  It was quite refreshing to see a club bill the show correctly..warn the people what they were about to see was not the norm.  We had some sold out shows and some not so sold out shows but I would rather play to 40 people into it then mongoloids in Kingston (I will get to that).</p>
<p>This would be the dream show for me to take across the country as I think that there is no one better in this country at this kind of comedy then Kenny.  For 30 years he has written some of the best political and nastiest jokes ever.  Look to the tour page for future shows with Kenny.</p>
<p>I posted some clips on youtube for the 400 loyal people who watch all my clips.  If you could just sent me a dollar I could pay 1/12 of my expenses for this month.</p>
<p>I have also changed my mind for the taping in June.  It will no longer be a cd but a dvd/cd recording.   To do all the work is almost the same anyways.  It wont be a full three hr type disc unless some crazy shit happens but it will be a good dvd all the same.  I dont put out shitty product for a reason.  I would rather wait a year then put out something I dont think is value.</p>
<p>I have been doing a lot of cartoon work which also pays the rent and a lot of fun to do.  Thank god they dont care what i do on stage.</p>
<p>Now the negative..do we really have enough time and space:</p>
<p>Kingston Ontario February 2010</p>
<p>I was looking forward to returning to the town i always have loved and done well in.  Past years I have drawn some good numbers in the town during the xrated comedy festival and I always try to bring new material.  It had been over a year since I played it last and I have about 40 new minutes since the last time and was itching for good shows.</p>
<p>The first friday show is top five worse shows ever&#8230;not even saying that for drama.  Undisputed</p>
<p>A group of twenty fucktards came in drunk and ready for a different kind of comedy show.  The total crowd was 50 so you have to be careful when a group can over power the crowd.  When a group is more then 1/3 the audience there are severe power issues that can come up.  Ask anyone that has done comedy more then ten years and they will shiver like Joe Jackson at the will reading.</p>
<p>As soon as the opener goes on within a minute the group is yelling and being way too loud and it is impossible for the comic to get any kind of momentum going.  He is forced to make fun of them and say stuff to then to try and quite them down.  Now this has all the ingredients to be a show where some bad shit will go down, so I am a little punchy right of the bat.</p>
<p>I can be honest about that.   </p>
<p>After you have been assaulted your radar starts to go off pretty quickly.</p>
<p>After about 20 minutes of this all of a sudden a guy jumps on stage and goes for the opener.  Now my rule is as soon as someone is on stage you have to do something there is zero time to wait and see.  So i am forced to run to the side stage a nd yell at the guy.  This is how the audience gets introduced to the headliner.  By me yelling</p>
<p>&#8220;Get the fuck off the stage&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Easy tiny&#8221; is what he says to me</p>
<p>&#8220;Dont easy tiny me get the fuck off the stage&#8221;</p>
<p>then the guy sits back in his chair and you can see all 20 people in his group just cross their arms pretty much saying we are not going to laugh at the rest of the show.</p>
<p>At this point a woman gets up from their group and starts to talk to the owner in the front of the venue saying this is the worse show she ever seen and the comic sucks blah blah blah.</p>
<p>I walk up to her and say that he doesnt suck that they never gave him a chance with the yelling.  She doesnt get it so i say this to her</p>
<p>&#8220;Lets say you are a waitress and that I am your manager.  I grab a handfull of marbles and throw them on the ground then i say  back to work and dont look down&#8221;</p>
<p>she says &#8220;but i am not a waitress&#8221;</p>
<p>and you are not an analogy either you dumb stunted cunt.  I turn to leave she says</p>
<p>&#8220;is the headliner funny&#8221;</p>
<p>I turn back and she says to me &#8220;are u the headliner&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Yes I am &#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Are u funnier then this guy&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;No I am not and if i were you I would get the fuck out of here&#8221;</p>
<p>At this moment the opener is introducing my name from stage as i run &#8220;Darren FFFRRRROOOSSSTTT&#8221;</p>
<p>I get on stage and do a bit of a speech about how they never gave bobby a chance and they should never come on stage blah blah.  The group of 20 get up and put their coats on to leave and we exchange word which i have all on tape.  I tell them to fuck themselves and wish aids on their parents..i know i know.</p>
<p>They leave and the story is over &#8230;well not really.</p>
<p>The next day i pass the brand new police station that they have in beautiful Kingston.  I decide to go in and find out my rights since i am being threatened more and more these days.</p>
<p>I speak to a lady behind a bullet proof glass through a phone and she passes the call upstairs to an officer.  I explain what is happening and it goes like this</p>
<p>&#8220;So officer I just want know my rights if I get threatened&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Wellll&#8230;if you are not a really good comedian ..maybe&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Woah wait ..maybe you dont understand ..i am doing well someone heckles and put them in their place,,they are drunk and are pissed so they make it physical cause there judgement is off.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Well a better comedian would be able to handle a crowd..&#8221;</p>
<p>WTF.  AT this point my ego is getting in the way andf i want to scream &#8220;I am funny &#8230;do i need to go over my credits to add validity to my question..do you know youtube&#8221;</p>
<p>Then he starts to quote the law for me</p>
<p>&#8220;Section 237 of the criminal code states that if someone utters a threat that you percieve to be real then you should call the police&#8221;</p>
<p>Something like that but it sounded good so he kept talking so i listen</p>
<p>&#8220;If you feel endangered blah blah blah&#8221;</p>
<p>Ok good to know</p>
<p>&#8220;Or if someone steals a small animal of yours like a small bird and utters threats&#8221;</p>
<p>I was like WTF are you talking about.  Stop the talking when the law does not apply to me.  What are you going to do read me all the laws in the book officer</p>
<p>Where did the bird come from&#8230;and if they steal the bird and i am not funny do i get the bird back.  If I am a hack do they get to kill the bird.</p>
<p>Do you know that movie moment where there is a guy who is so angry on the phone he just wants to smash the end on the table over and over?</p>
<p>I wanted to give the guy the finger and say here is your little fucking bird.</p>
<p>I have never been that guys who hates cops.  I have met some super cool cops in my day but now before i talk to any cop i am going to bring a small laptop with me and show some youtube clips to the officer to get the answers i need.</p>
<p>This is the road kids get ready for it</p>
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